President Bush is a moron. Today, he talked about the national intelligence estimate, which said Iran stopped its nuclear weapons program four years ago.

"I have said Iran is dangerous, and the NIE doesn't do anything to change my opinion about the danger Iran poses to the world. Quite the contrary."

Quite the contrary? Do you know what "contrary" means? Basically, you're saying a report from 16 intelligence agencies saying Iran stopped its nuclear weapons program four years ago reinforces your position that Iran has a nuclear weapons program.

I'm sick of this President.

Labels: fun with words, politics

Google Trends is a pretty cool tool for seeing what the world is searching for over a given time period.  I subscribe to an RSS feed in Google Reader that delivers the latest hot trends.  Some pretty random stuff shows up.  For example, tonight's 11 pm feed shows Habba Syndrome at number 13.  

What is Habba Syndrome?

Habba Syndrome was first described by Saad F. Habba, MD. The main symptom of Habba Syndrome is post-pandrial diarrhea, (three or more bowel movements per day for at least three months, which can range from simple urgency to incontinence) which is generally thought to be due to dysfunctional gallbladder which produces inappropriate amount of bile, but cholecystectomy does not greatly influence the symptoms, and approximately 10% of patients have nearly no change. Hence, the gallbladder may not be the only factor causing the syndrome.

Making this odd query even odder, "cordless drill" is listed as a "related search" at the trend page. I'm sorry, but I don't want to be anywhere near a Habba Syndrome sufferer handling a cordless drill.  That situation holds the potential for a pretty decent mess.

Labels: disease, fun with words, internet, toilet

A guy is gay, but a woman is a lesbian. But a lesbian is also gay. "Lesbian" just helps specify the sex of the gay without adding extra words. There's a word specifically for men who are gay, but it's not a nice word.

How come the lesbians get their own word, and the male gay population is left to share the ever-so-bland "gay" with the lesbians, who already have a pretty kick ass word to themselves?

Furthermore, how come public officials always say "gay and lesbian rights" instead of just "gay rights?"

I don't get it. Someone explain, please.

Labels: fun with words, gay, politics

Ozzy Osbourne is playing the Sprint Center, and my mom asked "is he going to bite the head off a bat?" I told her I didn't think he did that anymore. "Maybe he'll bite the top off a bottle of Geritol, instead," she said.

Yes, it was funny, but I felt that Geritol was a pretty outdated reference. So, I asked "what century are you in?" At that moment, I realized that "what century are you in?" could include a relatively recent period of time.

"What century are you in?" doesn't really work as a slam until you're in the later part of the century. Therefore, it's dead to me. If only we'd known earlier, we would've been sure to use it more when we could. We were simply too distracted with Y2K.

Labels: fun with words, RIP

Waterboarding is getting a lot of press lately.

Waterboarding (aka "water boarding") is the practice of immobilizing an individual on his or her back, with the head inclined downward, and pouring water over the face to force the inhalation of water and induce the sensation of drowning.

How could something so horrifying have such a fun, California-style name? Do they at least play some Beach Boys while all this is going down?

Labels: fun with words, politics

The New York Times is trying to give credit to "Grey's Anatomy" for inventing the word "vajayjay."

It began on Feb. 12, 2006, when viewers of the ABC series “Grey’s Anatomy” heard the character Miranda Bailey, a pregnant doctor who had gone into labor, admonish a male intern, “Stop looking at my vajayjay.”

I can't wait for "Grey's Anatomy" to "invent" other fun substitutes for "vagina." I just "invented" some other fun words for them to use: "coochie," "cooter," "hoohoo," "hooha," "tampon socket," etc. Come on, Grey's!

Note: My quotation mark key is tired.

Labels: fun with words, tv

From the KC Star's story on Kauffman Stadium renovations (bold mine):

Also scheduled for completion: New bullpens, expanded dugout-box seating, expanded crown seating behind the plate, the removal of one circular ramp on each side and the construction of expanded vomitories to field-level concourse.

I like to think I'm "down with words," but I wasn't positive on this one. I first assumed a vomitory must be a place to regurge after a hot dog and peanut binge on Buck Night. Wrong.

• an entrance to an amphitheater or stadium

wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn

• a Swedish brutal death metal band formed in 1989. The band has released six albums as of 2007. They are currently signed to Metal Blade Records.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vomitory (band)

• A popular misconception is that the Romans made use of a room called a vomitorium for the express purpose of vomiting between meals to make room for more food. Only a very small minority of the highest classes indulged in the practice of deliberately vomiting. A vomitorium is actually an entirely unrelated architectural feature – a passage situated below or behind a tier of seats in an amphitheatre, an exit through which the crowds could "spew out" at the end of a show.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roman_eating_and_drinking#Vomitorium

Labels: fun with words, royals, sports